C E I
Exactly six more days till Thanksgiving, but 2 more days till I have to fly back to Chicago blah I wasn’t looking forward to going back.
Don’t get me wrong I love my family, but time away from them and their daily drama was refreshing.
I got to wake up to a brand new day and think nothing but happy thoughts.
No one to harass me about money, being a disappointment because I didn’t appear up to their standards or about getting up early in the morning for no particular reason at all. I have freedom to be myself and I get to wake up whenever I wanted to.
And since I was going back in a couple of days to all of that, I was trying to get all the happiness I could to keep me sane for the week there.I wanted to make the best of it. I had to be prepared. I needed to go back with nothing but new things clothes, shoes, luggage everything just to show them that I might have been poor because you’ve always taken from me but I’m living a happy life and a much confident person so everything I let go won’t be happening this time around. I would be speaking up for myself overall I wished Chris would be by my side and we could at least spend ourvfirst holiday together. He’s so damn selfish, I tell you. Oh well with or without him I would have myself a good time giving the haters something really to hate about.
Yep, I couldn’t wait.
Here I was still asleep, knocked out, dead, ass up face smothered in pillows, spread across the bed and I’m not sure how Chris even slept with me since I’m always on his side of the bed every morning.
He can’t really talk cause he talks a lot in his sleep like he’s actually having a conversation with someone;laughing and all, he’s always putting his long, tarantula legs on me and he steals my pillow then complains he’s hot whenever I want to be cute and wrap my arms around him.
Overall, I love being beside him that is until he kicks me over to my side for slapping him in his sleep.
I thought the warbling sound was part of a dream I was having for a moment but when it continued urgently and persistent pissing me off , I realized it was just my phone.
my eyes peaked opened and I searched around trying to adjust to the sunlight. I pushed my hair that Chris made messy last night when he called himself ‘redoing my ponytail’ out my face and squinted my eyes over to his empty bedside at my phone that shouldn’t’ have been on his nightstand I’m convinced he’s going through my phone but I got something for him when I put my lock back on.
I reached and snatched it up not even paying enough attention to register in my brain the number on the caller ID.
"Hello?" I grumbled due to my unwillingness to wake up.
"Hey girl, whatchu doing?"
I knitted my eyebrows together.
"Chastity! Girl you forgot about me already? I didn’t know you got a new number I tried calling you but it kept saying the nuber was disconnected but whatever so what you doing?"
"Nothing…just waking up but um…whatchu doing?" I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes trying to figure out who would give her my number. The only people that had it were Tay, Arri and my grandmother and I know she doesn’t know my grandmother and Arri wouldn’t give it to her and I know Tayshin doesn’t know her like that just from what I told him about her so…?
"Shit, nothing. I got your numba from Tayshun. I’m over his house watching his son until he get off work."
I raised my head from my phone confused like really confused. Why would he give out my number to Chastity better yet why is she hanging around him? Chastity knew about some of the things that happened with Tayshun and I but that was before she found out about Chris and we stopped talking.
"My Tayshun? Tayshun Green?"
"Yep, we been talking for about a week now. He threw a party at his house and my friend invited me. I didn’t know you moved to LA girl, you is winning. Can I come visit you so we can catch up? I miss you girl work is not the same without you there. Arri hired Tayshun and that white girl Torrie quit last week. Anyways so yeah Tay and I talked and we got together and girl that nigga dick game was bomb! he made me squirt like 3 times. He one of those freaks girrrrl anyway I wanted to make sure you was alright wit us cause I know at one point you was supposedly feeling him but you got Chris Brown so there ain’t no way you want him, right?"
My heart almost stopped beating, and I wasn’t sure what to say or do. I just stared in nowhere particular for the time being. This couldn’t be real maybe this was all just a nightmare.
For the first time those true feelings I had buried betrayed nothing but jealousymand hurt.
How could Tayshun do that to me?
The feeling was so overwhelming, that I was almost moved to tears.
"Um…yeah I-I have Chris and Tayshun and I are just friends. I mean—"
"Are you sure cause I don’t want this to get in between us?"
"I mean what else could I do or say? If I did have a problem you’re already there and you slept with him even after all that I told you about him so do you, Chastity. " I said and hung up on her
This bitch was crazy!
Haven’t she ever heard of a fucking girl code? I don’t know why I even befriended someone like her. She’s nasty, don’t have respect for herself or her body, she fucks everthing with a pulse, she’s a liar and thief. I feel sorry for her mama. I swear I hated the decisions I made sometimes. I was just too damn nice, being so desperately in need of a friend and made the mistake of trusting her.
It was like she wants everything that I have: I had Ivan, she wanted ivan, I had Tayshun she wants Tayshun, She even wants Chris. It’s like she wants to be me. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself and you know what for her pulling this move it made me can’t wait till I get to Chicago, I was going to beat her ass and Tay’s too.
C H R I S
My hand brushed against my loud vibrating phone, I had already knew who was calling because every fucking day she never seizes to let it rest.
Irritably I exhaled noisily and pressed talk. “Yeah.”
"So you’re ignoring me now?" She asked calmly. Shaking my head In disappointment, I pulled my attention away from the game on the television and went up stairs for some privacy so I could hear.
Nate, Mijo and Hood were over chilling with me for the weekend and we had some things planned before everybody parted ways for the holiday.
“What?”I asked with attitude, dropping down on my living room couch and propping my legs over the arm rest.
“I asked, if you were ignoring me now?” She repeated, enunciating her words slowly for me.
I nodded inaudibly. “Yeah, something like that.”
"Chris, I don’t want to fight with you that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Then why are you calling me after that lil stunt you pulled with my girl?”
“Because something has been bothering me, are in lo-love with her?” she asked.
"Why you asking?”
"So I can safely assume that I’m not the one anymore, huh?" She said as more of a statement than a question.
“Shit you can assume whatever the hell you want.”
”Well…I’ll take that as a yes…”
“I guess so…” I answer back straightforwardly.
“You know if you didn’t want anything to do with me you could’ve been a man about it and told me upfront Chris instead of sitting back like a bitch and watching your fat ass ‘girlfriend’ jump me.”
"Yo watch your fucking mouth don’t call her out her name, you don’t even know her. That’s why what happened happen because you don’t know when to shut up, I thought you would’ve learned that by now."
"Oh so now your defending this bitch?"
I licked my dry lips and tried to think about something else before I lose my patience talking to this bitch with all her smart ass comebacks I’m guessing she didn’t learn. I knew what she was doing and she must’ve been in front of her friends. I knew Jada too well to know that she bwas never this brave to speak unless she jad somebosy gassing her up
"I’m not going to tell you again, watch how you speak to me when you talking about my girl."
"Your girl?" She chortled darkly. "So if she’s your girl then what am I?"
"You already knew what it was, Jada why the hell you acting brand new matter of fact I’m through talking to you I don’t even know why I’m wasting my time talking wit’ yo ass."
"No I didn’t know ‘what it was’ because I thought we were back together!”
"Well you thought wrong, I would never make that mistake ever again but we still cool though, you da homie.”
"Homie? You know I’m no fucking homie Chris, homies don’t fuck.” I chuckled. I found that amusing. The way she said that. She never was good at cursing. "So you used me for sex? So typical of you Chris you a no good nigga forreal."
'Well if I'm a no good nigga then who you steady calling my phone?”
“I thought you actually cared about me but you played me dirty.”
"I didn’t play you dirty you knew what I was coming to your house for, at 4 in the morning. What you thought we were going to do, play chess? You acting like what happened between us just happened, that was 4 months ago, Jada get over it damn I have.”
"I thought you wanted me back…" she said lowly. "I’m sorry Chris.” She stressed. “God, how many times do I have to apologize for making a mistake? I love you, I’m in love with you and I always will be and I know you still feel the same way you’ve always have about me, you can’t just erase those feelings over night, it takes time. You coming back proved that we’re not through.” Feeling a wave of sympathy for her, I took a deep breath and gazed up to the ceiling. “If I could baby…if I could take back what I did I would, I would but I can’t and I’m content with that because it changed my life. I’ve learned from my mistake one of the biggest mistakes I’ve could ever make and that was letting you go…please forgive me? I’ll do anything to gain back your trust. Just tell me what I need to do baby.”
I stayed silent. I hated the control she has over me. For months I fought and fought to get her out my life and I was doing well until one night, I fucked up just because I was mad at Cei and the way we were.
I know it sounds dumb at my age but I felt rejected so many times. One night I found myself thinking about her I wanted her here I needed to feel inside of her.
I don’t remember exactly how I even ended up at Jada’s front door all I know I got what I wanted and then I continued to go back for more instead of stopping things once Cei and I got serious.
All this lying back and forth making her feel like I was angry with her had my mind fucked up, I feel like I’m going insane now I’m stuck with someone that shouldn’t even be a part of my life someone who doesn’t deserve another chance but I can’t just end things with Cei I really do have love for her, that’s my baby but if it wasn’t for Jada messing thinfs up she would be the woman in my life, I loved that girl to death and I’m still hurting. But I guess if she didn’t I would jave never met Cei.
Look how many much shit we’ve been through in a short amout of time but neither of us called it quits. It takes patience to deal with a man like me. I’ve broken up wit her, called her names, played with her mind yet she’s still around sticking with me to the end.
What man would get rid of a woman like her?
“Don’t you miss the things we used to do? You and I both know no other woman can make you feel like I made you feel just like no other man will ever know and understand me like you do.” I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded my head against my will. “When you’re in love, bad things will happen there will be rough times where you just want to give up but you don’t give up, you patch up the bruises and move on if you truthfully love someone you would at least try to show you care and I care. You promised me that we will always be together no matter what.”
I can’t let her control my mind any longer. It took me almost a year to get over her and I’ll be damn if I allow myself to go through the heartache again. Even if I did give the green light for us to be back together I would never be happy because I would always see her with him. Him touching on what was once mine. I loved Jada but I wasn’t stupid. I’ve moved on and I’m in love with Cei, I can’t just abandon her. “What does she have that I don’t Chris, what does she do for you that I couldn’t what does she do right? Why is she so special?” She asked, I was well aware of the tremor in her voice and I’ll admit it made me sort of crack emotionally. Again, This was the woman I loved that hurted me. “If I could I would take back that day, Chris I can’t live my life without you I need you!”
I took a deep breath and surrendered. “Alright Jad—” I heard something break and I remembered them nigga was downstairs drunk and high as hell.
"Chris…" Jada whispered.
“Look we done alright it was just sex, I needed you to handle shit and that was it, get over it.”
"So your girl wasn’t handling it right?" She asked, I felt my anger simmering in.
Jada thinks my problem with her is the fact that I caught her cheating half true but it’s really her personality. Unfortunately I made the mistake of falling for another pretty face hoe and almost got stuck but god got better plans for me and I know he didn’t send Cei for nothing. I sucked my teeth. “We both know why it’s cause she’s not your type.”
"Nah see that’s where you wrong, you see unlike females like you, she a good girl, not giving niggas free slides in her pussy.”
"Oh so now I’m a hoe Chris, now I sleep around? You know that’s a lie because I would never do that to you, I don’t know what’s so special about this girl that got you acting all brand-new on me when not too long ago you was in my bed, licking my pussy talking about how tight it is.”
I laughed. “Nah you must got me confused with one of your other niggas cause I don’t say shit like that.” I chuckled, laying back down and crossing my legs.
"Why are you treating me like this I was there for you, How could you do me like that Chris, how could you make up so many lies about me to your friends to make me look like the bad person when you were the one in the wrong? You’re still in the wrong fucking me while you’re in a relationship. You probably got her believing your ‘re a good guy and you were leading me to believe that you were single I had to find out from my friends that you got a girl at a party through someone who I actually met?”
"It was four fucking months ago!"
'So! It stilled happened.”
"I’m about to hang up, Jada?"
"No you won’t you need to tell me why you lied to me better yet why are you playing with that girl’s heart?"
"Well I guess we’re done here.."
"I hope one day your ass gets dogged, karma is a bitch Chris, you’re going to fall in love with someone and she’s going to play your ass. Oh yeah one more thing I hope you have a great speech together after I tell Cei everything that happened between us."
"Do you bitch." I ain’t worried cause Cei never leaves my side. Where exactly will she see her?
"Her flight is at 3 Monday right, LAX flight to Chicago, yeah I know?" She hung up.
C E I
I was definitely awake now and unable to go back to sleep after what I just heard, thank you Chastity and Tayshun for fucking up my day before it even started.
It took me some time to fully process before I sat up on the edge of the bed, let out a loud yawn and streched then lazily walked to the bathroom.
I turned on the shower, shooting for the temperature of scorching hot hopefully it’ll take my mind off of things because all I could see were images of him with her and since when did he leave Bruce with just anybody? I thought.
Now it made sense why he never returned my phone calls.
Unfortunately, my shower didn’t do much and I was still pissed. I glanced at my phone, contemplating on calling him and having to see what he was gonna say. Would he confirm it or lie to me? I was hoping Chastity was the one lying though.
Unlocking my phone and opening Tay’s contact I paused for a minute before pressing dial.
If he was at work like she said then he was just gonna have to answer because I was more important. If he answered then I knew that he thought so too.
I waited patiently as he let it almost go to voicemail before picking up.
"Hey." I smiled a little, standing up to go close the bedroom door.
"Nothing I was just returning a call, again for your 50 million calls and texts." I chuckled "So um, what did you need to talk to me about?"
"Uhhh, it was nothing. I was just going through some shit and I needed someone to talk to…" he trailed off, leaving me feeling sad because I chosed to ignore his calls. "But I’m all good," Yeah I bet you are. You and Chastity. “How’s California?”
"It’s…hot and not Chicago." I chuckled. Oh so now we’ve been lowered down to not having anything to talk about but the weather hmmm okay.
"Yeah, the weather out here been kinda crazy it’s been raining but we supposed to get some snow monday."
"Oh, God knows how much I love snow!"
"Yeah that’s why he’s giving you about 12 inches when you come back." He chuckled. "Guess who got a job?"
I already heard. “You?”
"Yep. You know I needed one." He chuckled again. "I’m tired as hell too I been trying to put in all the overtime I can even take other people’s shifts ghese niggas lazy anuway.."
"Where at?" I asked as if I didn’t know already.
"Your old job." I frowned.
"Really? I knew you wanted my job, so is everyone still there like Ivan, Torrie…Chastity?”
"Torrie’s the white girl, right ? nah she quit and I think she’s supposed to be moving back home with her boyfriend I heard."
"What?" I asked. Knew that too. "I wonder if she’s coming back out here."
"She from LA?"
"San Francisco, she’s a friend of Chris’s, girlfriend. "
"Oh." He hummed getting quiet at thw mention of my boyfriend. Jealous ass."But yah boy Ivan, he must’ve didn’t know I knew you so he was talking shit about you."
Ivan was talking bad about me? “What he say?”
"I’ll tell when you get here cause I know you. " I smacked my teeth. Obviously you don’t know me well enough cause if you did you would notice how sarcastic my tone is.
"What about Chastity?"I asked,
"I don’t know a Chastity." He lied. I smirked and shook my head.
"So now that you’re working, who’s watching your son?"
Lie again motherfucker, I dare you too.
"The same daycare I told you about and some days my lil brother. "
"So um…I heard from Chastity today. She called me about 30 minutes ago and it’s crazy cause I don’t know how she got my number…"he cleared his throat and chuckled a little. I could just imagine the look on his face his jim putting his head down when he’s lying or uncomfortable. "So yeah she called me and was like well she wanted to know if it’ll be alright with me if y’all go together and then she told me how y’all fucked and I was like forreal." I chucked. "Then she was just telling everything y’all did and I’m trying to figure out when did this happen since Bruce is there then you were calling my phone non stop, you know?" He stayed silent but I knew he was still on the phone. He knew where I was headed, caught his ass lying. "You know it’s cool Tayshun you can fuck any nasty ass hoe you want to and catch a std if you want cause we’re just friends well I thought we were, the only thing that pissed me off was you knew she was my friend or did you just forget like you obvious did when you told me you want me. You knew my situation with you and Chris yet you go behind my back do that and then you, " I breathe feeling myself become too upset and next were the tears. "I can’t believe you would actually lie to me." I chuckled darkly. "So how was it?"
"You mad?" He asked.
I wasn’t sure I just heard what I heard. “What?” I asked shockingly.
"You mad?" He repeated.
"Hell yeah I’m mad, what the fuck Tayshun?"
"Why you mad though it ain’t like nothing’s happening with us, you made it clear when you moved to California and stopped calling. You with the nigga that cares about you."
"Well thanks for letting me know where I stand with you, Tayshun. I know it’s complicated but if you supposed to have these feelings for me, you don’t go fuck someone else!"
"Just cause I got feelings for you I’m supposed to wait around till you done playing house with ol’ boy?"
"Okay how about we not bring Chris into this?"
'Nah fuck that he already into this because of you. You walking around here with a stick up your ass now just cause the nigga got money so you wanna tell me what I should do for you. Nah I don't care what I told you I ain't no fucking side nigga and you ain't Queen Cei.”
"I know that and I didn’t say you were—"
"Then what were you saying?"
"I’m saying…" Okay, who is he right now? "You’re wrong!"
"I’m wrong? How the fuck am I wrong? Nah you the one wrong! You need to make up your fucking mind and stop playing wit my fuckinf emotions. I left you alone so you can be happy, You wanted to be wit your boyfriend, you are but don’t go saying shit about who I’m with. If anyone should be pissed its me. You wanna go around playing with everybody’s feelings I swear you selfish as fuck Cei.i didn’t notice it at first but now I see that shit clearly and I ain’t on that petty shit. "
"Okay I’m sorry to have bothered you but don’t worry I won’t be a problem anymore. I hope you and Chastity have a nice life together."
"Bitch, stop playing with me."
It was like horns thrusted out at the top of my head because all I wanted was to say the meanest things to really hurt his feelings right now. I wasn’t one of the girls who got offended by being called a bitch but it messed with my soul coming from him,”Who you calling a bitch, Tayshun?”
"You! Da fuck you mean? I’m sick of your ass."
"Okay well I’ll leave you alone but don’t get mad at me cause I don’t want you."
"Aight." He laughed making me angrier.
"What the hell did I do to you? Is this because I moved to California? You sjould be happy because you know what I was going through in Chicago.
you’re supposed to be my friend and support me for wanting to be happy.”
"Supporting you is being by your side when you had a abortion and lied about it calling it a miscarriage which I did, support is driving across town to get you when you ain’t have nobody else, support is buying a bitch a car cause you knew she needed it, support is listening every fucking day to you complain about Chri this, chris that chris cheated chris is mad at me, support is letting you stay at my crib and eat up my food not asking from shit from you, support is picking you up and dropping you off eveyday from work without asking for a dime, support is being man enough to admit that I wanted you but stayed in my place as a friend. You came to me remember I didn’t come to you. Don’t ever make it seem like I didn’t go out my way to do shit for you but what have you ever done for me? You couldn’t even answer the damn phone when I called."
It feels like someone was digging their nails into my heart and mutilating it really slow. I closed my eyes, fresh tears streaked down my face. This was torture. “So what do you want money, Tayshun? You want me to pay you back for all of that since I won’t breakup with my boyfriend to be with you.”
"You could never pay me back in cash the shit I did for you."
"Then what are you bringing it up for,0? I thought you were doing that because you cared about me but you know what you can have the fucking car back, I’ll pay you back for all the times you had to come get me. "
"I’m bringing it up cause you need to remember who was there for you and who wasn’t. Chris wasn’t there and neither was Chastity. A fucking phone call would’ve been cool or a text. Do you know how many times I called you Cei?"
"God, I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the phone, I get it." I desperately tried to speak through my sobs. his tone was glacial. "What do you wan from me, is this what you want Tayshun to make me feel this way over a phone call?" I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and my feelings hidden. It was obvious he didn’t care to notice that he was making me cry. I swear him and Chris had a lot in common. For him to throw what he done back at me proved he had a motive behind all his "kindness" this is why you can’t trust anybody and if you need anything always get it yourself.
"Nothing, I don’t need shit from you, Cei."
"You are sad, really. You just mad because I am with Chris and not with you and he’s been there for me more than you have."
"Oh really?" He chuckled. "That’s all you got to throw that you with Chris at me. Cei I don’t give a fuck about you and Chris but Alright imma leave you alone cause I’m interfering with y’alls relationship." I sense sarcasm in his voice, he was really enjoying my pain.
"What do you want from me?" I cried some more. I wish he would just tell me what I did or didn’t do. "Is that why you slept with chastity, because you knew it will hurt me. You told her to call me and dicuss all about your sex life so I can hurt. "
"So what I fucked that girl, that hoe don’t mean shit to me."
"Then why is she at your house?"
"If you got a problem with it come back here and do something about it. It don’t feel good to care about somebody and they act like you don’t mean shit to them do it. You flaunt your relationship in my face—"
"HE’S MY BOYFRIEND, GOD!"
"And I fucked Chastity. " I broke down crying unintentionally before taking a deep breath. I was in love with Chris but he just didn’t do the things Tayshun did. It’s always something missing with him. He’s guarded. So my feelings for Tayshun are strong because he treats me more like I’m his girl than Chris does but right now he was Chris. "Aight I gotta get back to work call me when you done crying." He said before hanging up. I laid back , lost in my pillows as I cried my heart out. I felt jealous and confused. The moral of it all, I got nothing.
C H R I S
“YO, why the fuck yall breaking shit?” These niggas was pissing me off already I was ready for them to leave. When they start acting up and disrespecting my space that’s when it’s time to bounce; matter fact. “Yo, Hood turn that off and y’all get up out my place man.”
”That’s Nate drunk ass. Man you know how he get.” Hood said.
"Yeah, man you need to calm down I thought you said Torrie supposed to be coming in today now how you gonna drive drink?"
"I can hold my liquor fine, bruh just hurry up I got next.""
'Nah,” I snatched the remote cord out the game consule. “Get out.”
"Damn, what’s the matter with you? Coming down here bitching at everybody like we did something to you. I thought you would be the happiest man alive right now?" Nate chuckled taking a sip of his beer. I squatted and picked up Cei’s laptop and put it back in her bag before she got up complaining.
"Nothing’s the matter with me man I’m just sick and tired of this all this bullshit."
"What bullshit? Ain’t nobody did anything to you or maybe you jist mean Jada, your ex. Could you be talking about Jada? I saw she kept calling." This nosy nigga.
I paused and looked up at him for a moment. “That too.” I mumbled.
"I thought you stop fucking with her?" Mijo questioned cleaning up all the trash them niggas left on the floor. I leave for 5 mintues and they got a gang of trash on my floor.
"I did, she just keep calling my phone."
"You sure about that I mean…she can’t just keep calling for no reason unless—?"
"So, what you don’t believe me?" I stood sizing him up with a few of the papers in my hand.
"Nah it’s not that I’m just saying there has to be a reason, she fought Cei now she won’t leave you alone after what not speaking to her a year in a half. Where’s Muhammad AlCei anyway?”
"Yeah man she fucked a Jada up!" Mijo added.
"I don’t know why she fought Cei yall know how jealous Jada gets. she found out Cei’s my girl and got mad." I shrugged my shoulders.
"She need to take up boxing lessons if she plan on running her mouth and keeping her teeth." Mijo laughed and ran upstairs. "I’m out see y’all tonight."
"Chris." Here he goes.
"You still messing around with her?"
I sighed.. “I swear to god I ended things before Cei and I got serious well I didn’t have a choice she questioned me one night we were in a hotel and she cried man and you know I hated when females cry so I sort of panicked and the first thing that came to my head was to lie.” I shrugged. “So I told her that was Hood’s girl—” On cue he turned to face us at the mention of his name. “Then unsatisfied like she knew I was lying, she kept asking so I had to cover my ass but I swear if I knew that Cei and I were going to make it this far I would’ve never fucked Jada man. I know it sounds dumb but Cei wasn’t giving it up ,Jada caught me at a weak moment and it just happened.” I poured out quickly. It felt good to get it all out but bad that all my dirt was coming clean right beneath my nose. I didn’t know what to do and I feared fo4 Cei finding out.
"Damn bruh. You should’ve just told her the truth so then this wouldn’t be a bigger problem."
"I know.Worst fucking mistake I ever made, now she won’t stop calling my phone, talking to my girl, talking about my girl, showing up at random at places that I’m at, the bitch is stalking me it’s just… getting out of hand for real."
"So how exactly did you end things with her?" Hood looked back from the tv at me.
"I didn’t have to say anything, I’m pretty sure she got the memo this morning."
"This morning, Chris?! Are you fucking kidding me man after what happened the other night? You should’ve handled that a long time ago."Nate advised. "Damn man you a pretty bad liar by the way."
"I know Nate damn I messed up Alright but I’m trying to make things right and you try lying to Cei."
"Better hope she doesn’t find out!"
"SHE WON’T." I paused and sat down on the steps putting my head in my hands. I breathe and rubbed my hands down my face. "I can’t lose her man." Taking in a deep breathe and exhaling through my nose. “If she finds out that I cheated.." I messed up too early in the relationship. I just got too big headed thinking she needed me more than I needed her but now I’m crazy in love wit that girl.
I stared down at the floor as we sat there silently for a minute.
I messed up and I know I did, I know I’m a hypocrite as much as I accuse her of cheating it was only because I’m guilty of it myself. I swear if she leave me…I don’t know what I’m gon’ do.
"I’m proposing to Torrie tonight. She called me and told me she movimg back out here. I want y’all to be there ." Nate said breaking the silence. Hood came and stood next to the stair rails. "I mean I’m scared as fuck but I want to do this. " he stared at the empty bottle in his hand and tossed it in the trash can. "I never told y’all this but the reason Torrie moved to Chicago was because she left me. She left me because she got sick of me drinking." He chuckled. "She always threatened to leave but this time I guess she was serious. I came home one day and found all of her things gone. She had just losted the baby and had been calling me all night to meet her at the hospital and I was too ashamed to face her because I had lied and said I stopped drinking until she questioned me why I wasn’t there for her and I had to look her in the eye and tell her because I was too wasted to drive. I was sitting in my car with a bottle of gin and, and 6 pack case of beer on the phone telling her I was stuck in traffic. Man the look she gave me broke my heart, it was a look of disappointment, disgust. If there is one person I never want to see that look on its definitely her. I don’t want her to look at me as weak or a loser I want her to look up to me. So believe me whe I say that I understand what you’re going through but you have to come clean and sit her down and share everything you’re feeling with her and if…she loves you like you think she do then she’ll forgive you and move on and try her best to make sure both of yall are on the same page. I’m not saying you weren’t wrong but at some point you got to stand up and be a man and stop acting like a stubborn ass boy thinking she ain’t gon never leave because they leave Chris and it’s hard as fuck trying to get girls like her and Torrie back.”
"Y’all acting like some females man. Sharing all these feelings and stuff like this is girl talk or some shit let me get up out of here. " Hood chuckled. "I’ll see y’all tonight." He shoved us and ran upstairs.
"That nigga ain’t never been in love like this." Nate chuckled. "I gotta get home too she’ll be here in about 3 hours and my house is a mess. I see you later."
I nodded in understanding, staring down at something that caught my attention.
"What’s wrong?" Nate asked clueless.
I shook my head, grabbed and folded the sheet of paper and put it in my pocket before gathering the rest of her things back into place in her laptop bag and sat it on the side of the stair case. “Thanks bro you need a ride you don’t need to driving.”
"Nah I can drive thanks man."
"No problem." We dapped and gave a brotherly hug. "Damn —looking ugly as fuck."
"Man fuck you." He chuckled following me up the stairs. I walked them out and made my way upstairs to see if Cei had woken.